1RomanceEB Chapter 23 | Are you here to find me, or to arrest me?
Chapter 23 | Are you here to find me, or to arrest me?
Ahn Yoo-jin gave a soft "hmm," as if she had breathed a sigh of relief, but her eyes were still a little hot. Jang Won-young bit her lip, her expression completely undisguised.
Cao Rouli didn't say anything. She just reached out and gently pushed the plate of uneaten fried chicken on the table toward Quan Enbi. The movement was very light, like a comforting gesture of "you should eat more".
Quan Enbi saw it, looked up and smiled at Cao Rouli. In that smile was the captain's gratitude, but also the weariness that only friends could understand.
"So," Quan Enbi changed the subject and looked at Cao Yisen again, "you can come. You can sit in the audience."
"You don't need to do anything," she added. "Just being here is enough."
Cao Yisen nodded, wanting to say something, but found his voice a little hoarse, so he could only respond softly, "Okay."
Choi Ye-na, seemingly unable to contain herself any longer, deliberately tried to lighten the mood: "Hey, why are you making such a fuss! We're going to a concert, not to join the army!"
Ahn Yoo-jin was amused by her. Jang Won-young let out a soft breath, her lips twitching as if she wanted to scold her but couldn't bear to leave the atmosphere.
Kwon Eunbi smiled, but the smile was brief. She raised her hand to pull her hat brim down, her tone returning to its gentle, everyday manner, and clapped her hands, saying, "Alright, everyone, continue eating. Today is a happy day, let's not make the atmosphere so heavy!"
When the noise started up again in the living room, the sounds piled up one after another, like an encore at a mini variety show.
Choi Ye-na jumped around on the sofa, Ahn Yoo-jin acted as the referee but became more and more biased, Jang Won-young sat upright with a cushion in her arms, saying "I'm not playing anymore" but her hands kept reaching out to grab cards, and Kang Hye-won always seemed to be detached, but every time it was her turn to speak, she would change the rules even more outrageously with a single sentence.
Cao Yisen was initially laughing along, but as he looked around, he realized that one person was missing.
Kwon Eun-bi has disappeared.
He initially assumed Kwon Eun-bi had gone to the restroom, but she didn't return after a few minutes. Cao Yisen's gaze unconsciously drifted towards the balcony—only to see a faint figure standing quietly behind the glass door, as if shutting out the hustle and bustle and standing in a colder, more intimate space.
In that instant, he felt a tug at his heartstrings. A very strange pull.
It wasn't a rational "the captain needs comforting," but rather more like an innate bodily inertia: it seemed this body had an irrational urge to get closer to Kwon Eun-bi. Cao Yisen could even feel his toes turning slightly in that direction, as if his subconscious was pushing him: go and see.
He glanced at the living room; everyone was having a great time, and Cao Rouli was being played with by Cui Yena, so no one paid any attention to him.
Cao Yisen stood up, trying not to make a sound, and quietly walked towards the balcony.
The moment he pushed open the glass door, the cold air from outside hit his face, carrying a hint of urban dampness. The night wind was colder than he had imagined, making his neck stiffen. He was just about to call out "Kwon Eunbi" when he smelled a scent that was somewhat unfamiliar, yet very distinct.
It doesn't smell like burning tobacco; it's more like a sweet taste mixed with a hint of electronic flavor.
He turned his head and saw Kwon Eun-bi's hand.
Kwon Eun-bi held a thin e-cigarette between her fingers. The light was dim, but that glimmer of light was quite noticeable. Her back was to the living room, her shoulders relaxed, as if she had finally found a corner where she could let her expression wander.
Cao Yisen's mind went blank for a moment.
Oh... a female idol... smoking?
Although it was an e-cigarette, the words still seemed to strike a chord in his mind.
Before he could hide his surprise, Kwon Eun-bi had already heard the noise at the door and turned around.
The two people's eyes met.
Kwon Eunbi was also visibly stunned for a moment, her movements halting in mid-air, her e-cigarette still unpacked. But her stunned expression wasn't one of panic; it was more like a brief pause after being caught in the act.
The next second, she regained her composure.
He was even more composed than Cao Yisen.
Kwon Eun-bi casually put the e-cigarette into her palm, her posture as natural as if she had just been holding a pen. Her gaze fell on Cao Yisen's face, the corners of her mouth slightly curved, and instead of explaining, she asked a question.
"Cao Yisen".
Kwon Eun-bi called him by his full name in a soft voice, "Are you here to find me, or to arrest me?"
Cao Yisen was a little speechless when she asked him a question directly.
He had prepared many phrases like "Captain, you've worked hard" and "Are you alright?", but now they were all stuck in his throat. Saying those things at this moment would obviously be a bit pretentious.
"I...cough cough..." He cleared his throat, "I just saw you were here all alone. I was worried you'd be bored."
Kwon Eunbi nodded, as if she had heard a very reasonable explanation, and did not ask any further questions. She leaned against the railing, the night breeze causing the brim of her hat to flutter slightly. Her voice was soft, but steady.
"The expression you made just now."
Kwon Eunbi looked at him, her tone slightly amused, "It's like you see me doing something illegal."
Cao Yisen instinctively denied it: "No, that's not it."
Kwon Eunbi didn't let him off the hook: "So what were you thinking just now? 'A female idol smoking?' right?"
Cao Yisen's ears burned when he was called out. He tried to pretend nothing was wrong, but couldn't, so he could only bite the bullet and say, "I'm just a little surprised. Aren't you... usually very conscious of your image?"
Kwon Eunbi gave a soft "hmm," as if acknowledging something, or perhaps not wanting to make her words too serious.
"Maintaining a good image is part of the job," she said. "But outside of work, there always needs to be a place where we can breathe."
She paused, then added a sentence, as if casually dismissing the matter.
"And it's just an e-cigarette, not the kind you're thinking of."
She glanced at the light shining from the living room. "I won't cause any trouble for the members."
Cao Yisen wanted to say, "I didn't mean that," but then realized it would be superfluous. Because Quan Enfei wasn't making a defense, she was stating a fact. She was simply telling Cao Yisen: I know what I'm doing; you don't need to worry too much.
A breeze blew in, making the balcony much colder than the interior. Cao Yisen stood by the door, suddenly unsure whether to move forward or backward. He wanted to get closer, but was afraid of seeming too presumptuous.
But the urge to "get closer" remained. It was as if this body was reminding him: you always wanted to get closer to her, and you still do now.
Seeing that he was standing still, Quan Enfei seemed to see through his awkwardness and gently raised her chin.
"Come here," she said casually. "Why are you so far away from me? Am I scary?"
No, not at all.
Cao Yisen then took two steps over and leaned against the railing on the other side, not far from her, maintaining a polite distance between them. Quan Enfei didn't speak immediately, her gaze passing over the streetlights below and looking into the distance. Her profile was very clean in the night, causing Cao Yisen to momentarily lose focus.
Cao Yisen wanted to find a topic to talk about, but he realized that the question he most wanted to ask was actually very simple—
Are you ok?
But then he felt that the words were too light, so light that they sounded like a useless word of comfort.
Finally, Cao Yisen spoke up, his voice very low: "Quan Enbi, about that concert you mentioned earlier... I'll go."
Kwon Eunbi turned to look at him, her gaze lingering for a moment.
"Hmm." She responded, as if letting out a sigh of relief, or perhaps composing herself, "Gummawon~"
Cao Yisen seemed a little uncomfortable with her saying "thank you" to him. He subconsciously tried to make his words sound more casual to ease the tension.
"Actually, there was another reason why I came to the balcony just now."
Cao Yisen forced himself to say, "It's too noisy in the living room, I'm going to come out and hide for a bit."
Kwon Eunbi smiled, a very soft smile: "You seemed to fit in quite well, didn't you? Choi Ye-na even said you were 'quite well-behaved'."
Cao Yisen awkwardly scratched his head: "I was forced to do that."
Kwon Eun-bi tilted her head, a hint of teasing in her eyes: "So you're afraid I'll drag you back to continue playing games?"
Cao Yisen immediately denied it: "That's not the case. What I'm afraid of is that Yuan Ying will make me do squats again."
Upon hearing the name "Won-young," Kwon Eun-bi seemed to recall something, and her smile deepened: "Does Jang Won-young still hold a grudge?"
Cao Yisen thought of Zhang Yuanying's earlier remark, "How come you didn't grow up to be ugly?" He felt a mix of amusement and helplessness: "She doesn't hold grudges anymore, but now... her mouth is even more venomous."
Kwon Eunbi nodded gently: "That's normal. They've grown up."
At this point, her tone suddenly became a little quieter.
"Everyone is growing up," Kwon Eun-bi said, "but some things have to stop."
Cao Yisen did not respond.
He knew what Kwon Eun-bi was talking about, and he also knew that as the team leader, she couldn't be too blunt. But the more she couldn't say it, the easier it was for a crack to appear in the night breeze.
Kwon Eun-bi turned the e-cigarette around, as if she wanted to smoke it again, but then felt it wasn't appropriate to smoke it in front of Cao Yisen. She put the things in her hand into her coat pocket, and her tone returned to its steady, captain-like manner.
That's why I wanted you to come.
She looked at him and said, "We've seen a lot of people on stage, but the number of people who sit in the audience and watch us is actually not as many as you think."
Cao Yisen's heart sank, but then a more complex warmth quickly rose within him.
He nodded. "I understand."
Kwon Eunbi looked at him for two seconds, then, as if suddenly realizing something, subtly changed the subject, reverting to the domineering older sister she always was.
"However, Cao Yisen."
Her tone suddenly became a little playful, "Your first reaction when you saw me smoking was surprise. So... what was your second reaction?"
Cao Yisen was taken aback: "There's a second reaction?"
Kwon Eunbi raised an eyebrow: "Yes. What you did just now was clearly an attempt to pretend you didn't see anything and then run away."
Cao Yisen, caught red-handed, touched his nose and stubbornly said, "I didn't do that."
"You have."
Kwon Eun-bi said firmly, "I've seen people like you before. You clearly want to get closer, but you always take a step back, afraid of crossing the line."
Cao Yisen's heart skipped a beat.
He wanted to refute her, but found he couldn't. Because what she said wasn't entirely wrong either; it felt like she really knew "the old Cao Yisen," the one who stood quietly backstage but kept her eyes on him.
When Kwon Eun-bi saw that he didn't speak, she smiled and softened her tone a little.
"Don't be nervous," she said. "I'm not going to eat you."
Cao Yisen finally managed to squeeze out a sentence: "Quan Enfei-ssi, do you know that the way you're talking sounds like you're interrogating me?"
Kwon Eunbi gave a soft "hmm," neither confirming nor denying: "I'm the captain. The captain has to observe people, their emotions, and who's hiding." After she finished speaking, she raised her hand and patted the railing, as if to give this conversation a gentle ending.
"Alright, let's go back."
Kwon Eunbi looked towards the living room, "When Cao Youli finds you're missing, she'll think you were loitering at the door and got arrested by security again."
Cao Yisen was amused by her words, and his tense shoulders relaxed a little.
He nodded, turned to leave, and even with his hand on the doorknob, he suddenly stopped and looked back at her.
"Quan Eunbi".
His voice was low but earnest, "You don't need to explain what happened just now. I won't tell anyone either."
Kwon Eunbi looked at him, stared at him for a few seconds, and finally replied with only one word.
"it is good."
Cao Yisen's hand was still on the doorknob. Laughter from the living room rushed over like a heatwave, only to be muffled by the glass. He was about to go back when, in the slight rustling of the wind behind him, Quan Enfei suddenly sighed softly.
The sigh was very soft, as if it were just a breath.
However, Cao Yisen did not take any further action.
Kwon Eunbi took half a step forward, resting her arms on the railing and leaning slightly forward. The night breeze ruffled the brim of her hat, but she didn't bother to smooth it down, as if too lazy to fight the wind. She gazed at the streetlights in the distance, their lights stretching out one by one, like the city lengthening time for people.
She didn't turn around, and her voice wasn't loud, as if she were talking to herself, or as if she knew Cao Yisen was still behind her.
"You just asked me why I smoke," Kwon Eunbi paused, as if searching for a less embarrassing answer, "It's not to show off, nor is it to rebel."
Cao Yisen didn't speak, but gently closed the door to make the balcony quieter. He walked back to the railing and stood not far from Quan Enfei, maintaining a distance that didn't cross the line.
Kwon Eun-bi acted as if she wasn't looking at him, yet she knew perfectly well that he was there.
"Sometimes it's just... my head is too noisy." Kwon Eunbi's voice was even lower. "Do you know that feeling? Everyone is asking you 'Are you okay?' but you don't even know if you're okay yourself."
Cao Yisen's Adam's apple bobbed slightly, and he finally replied with only three words: "I know."
Kwon Eun-bi smiled, not a happy smile, but a brief moment of relaxation that said, "You actually understand." She leaned on the railing, her gaze still fixed on the distance.
"When I was seventeen," Kwon Eunbi suddenly began, as if casually revealing something she hadn't talked about in a long time, "I started working as a backup dancer for my seniors. Secret, Girl's Day... those kinds of shows, you had to smile when the lights were on, and run when the lights were off. They were on stage, and they were off stage, I was just a background character."
She paused here, as if to make sure she had said too much. A breeze blew by, making her voice even softer, yet also more genuine.
"Back then, Lee Hyeri was passing by backstage and saw me practicing. She suddenly said to me—" Kwon Eunbi paused, not repeating the exact words, but simply said, "She said, 'Don't just be someone else's background. You can also compete for it.'"